vimtos:

good night everyone except all the toxic people throughout my life who made me doubt my self-worth and took advantage of my kindness and patience

gay-shark:

anything heart shaped is automatically 200% better this is a fact

instagramofficial:

cop: can you describe the guy who stabbed you

me: yeah he was not very friendly

imanes:

all tiddies are good tiddies and this isn’t an opinion this is a FACT this is science bitch get with the program!

daggergal:

bass-borot:

daggergal:

is there anything cuter than a sleepy girl??? i think not

two sleepy girls cuddledozing together

i was a fool. an absolute buffoon. you are, of course, correct.

iburisu:

dang girl are you my appendix because I don’t understand how you work but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out

<p> <b><p></b> <b><p></b> <b><p></b> <b><p></b> <b>Me:</b> *pouring fabric softener*<p/><b>Brain:</b> drink<p/><b>Me:</b> ??? no???<p/><b>Brain:</b> smell nice. drink<p/></p><p/></p><p/></p><p/></p><p/></p>

145,479 notes · reblog

friend: fuck off stop punching me

me: its called platonic bdsm

260,256 notes · reblog